The Day The Rain Fell Up (a work in progress)

"Weather report for Sunday, June 12th:

Early morning showers turning to heavy

rain and thunderstorms by the evening.

Flood warnings for low lying areas.

Stay tuned for updates as they come. . "

I woke up and the bed was cold. The sheets pulled free to the right. She'd left. I'm not surprised. It's casual and if she hates herself half as much as I hate myself the morning after I can't fault her for bailing. At least it was raining. The pitter patter. Rhythmic. Drumming on garbage cans interspaced with the organic random beat of mother nature. I could forget. Last night, the day before, maybe even tomorrow. Shit, tomorrow.

My presentation was due. I was behind on it, but I didn't really care. I could sleep through it. As long as I had colorful visual aids and a PowerPoint song and dance the content wouldn't matter. But for now, my bed was cold. Honestly, I prefer it that way. My naked feet searched out the cold spots in the sheets. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain. Imagined I was puddle hopping nude through streets. Careless like a child. Refreshing.

Fuck it.

I should get up.

I got up.

Black coffee burned down my throat . It was half past ten, still early in my book. Why'd she have to leave so early. Am I really that bad. Is she really that nonchalant? Why did I care so much?

I put on my robe, slipped my feet into slippers, lit the first cigarette of the day and shuffled out onto the doorstep to get the paper. My eyes were still encrusted with the night's sleep. That's probably why it took me so long to notice, or maybe I'm just slow. Anyway, I shuffled down the concrete path reached down to where the paper boy always seems to land the paper and began to stumble buck to the door when it hit me.

Right up the nose.

The first thing that struck my mind, even before I fully comprehended what was taking place was "I'm glad I'm wearing underwear." I had more concern that mother nature may smite me with her own colonic than the gravity of the situation. For some odd and entirely incomprehensible reason, the rain had decided to fall up. Every where I looked the ground was shrouded in cloud. Dense and thick up to my knees, spewing forth was droplets of water racing towards a darkened sky. Like electricity racing between a conduit. Straight from the ground clouds into the safety of the waiting ones above.

Everything flooded in reverse. Rain water flowed up from storm drains and waterfalled into the heavens.

I looked to the Anderson's driveway next door. Their SUV's undercarriage had collected enough water to fill the cab inside. I looked in and viewed the aquarium of their lives. Their brat kid's empty juice boxes and cheerios once wedged between seat cushions now floated and bobbed like clown fish swimming through sea weed. The wife's prescription meds, freed from the glove box danced like jellyfish in the tide. They never parked it in the garage. Serves them right.

I mused for a moment how this change in the weather might affect my day. Would my presentation be postponed, would the world be thrown into upheaval. Was it localized to here or had the whole world gone topsy-turvy. All I was really concerned with was would I be able to get back to sleep if I crawled back into bed.

No point in leaving the house in this. What would happen to my car? I wasn't sure my insurance would cover flooding from the roof down.

Best to stay at home.

Catch up on my netflix.

Read that book I'll never read.

Masturbate.

Hate myself a little more.

Get drunk, pass out, wash, rinse, repeat.

I pranced back into the house. My hair bone dry but my nethers in need of a good toweling. I turned on the tube to get the full story. I was anxious to see what experts were lined up. Commenting on the insanity, but the cable was out. Maybe the sheer amount of information being pumped through fried the network lines. Or maybe I just forgot to pay the cable bill. I've been slipping on things like that lately. I still should set up some kind of auto bill pay. I'll get to it tomorrow.